I have a sad story to tell you today. Actually, I’ve been thinking about telling it for over a week. But since it requires me to tell more of my story, I’ve been a little hesitant.
One of the issues that affected my marriage also affects about 50% (or more) of Christian marriages. In our case it was the lesser issue, but it is destructive enough to destroy souls all on its own.
Which is why we’re a miracle.
I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that I am talking about pornography. There are wide-ranging statistics on issues as personal as this one. But reputable polls have found that as many as 75% of Christian men have “a problem with porn.”
People, that’s an epidemic.
Now on to my sad, true, short story. A couple years back an old friend married a pretty young woman. He disclosed his problem before the marriage, and said that he did not want cable t.v. or internet access in their home. But like many women, his bride was idealistic. She thought her husband should, “be a man,” and should not be so easily tempted. And if you want to know the whole truth, she chose t.v. over her husband’s soul. When he lost the battle (because we all know he did) and gave in to temptation, well, she kicked him out.
Ladies, can I be honest here? You might as well nod “yes,” or just stop reading, because we all know I’m going to be.
We’re not sitting around eating bon bons and watching t.v. all day long. We work hard! And sometimes, well, sometimes we need an in-home outlet. Most of us would choose HGTV over trashTV every time. We probably don’t have the same struggles our husbands have (whatever those might be). But we do have a job.
“The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
It’s our job to help our husbands, and though we’re not often seen this way, to act as their protectors. Because you know what? It’s not good for them to be without us!
If you are diligently battling a problem with food and your husband brings you fudge, is he being loving? If he brings it home because he wants to eat some too, is he being selfish?
On lazy days my kids might watch three, even four videos. Don’t think that because we’re “t.v. free” we are running around with finger paints and play-dough all day long (although we do those things too). But while they do watch some silly, “non-Bible” movies, they only watch our “pre-approved” selection.
This (no television access) frees me up to do chores instead of co-viewing everything they watch. And it also keeps me from dedicating an entire afternoon to courtroom dramas or design shows. But the main thing it does is keep the smut and advertising at bay. Because frankly, if a woman came to my door in her bra (assuming for whatever reason that she was not in danger), I wouldn’t let her in. So, I don’t.
Being out in the world often requires us to fight temptation. Heck, just being in Wal-Mart is enough for me to struggle with materialism. But we’re called to remove ourselves from temptation, NOT to fight it. Therefore, our homes should be places of peace for our souls.
If you struggle with overeating, don’t stress your soul with a stocked junk food cabinet.
If you’re not sure you love your husband, don’t unsettle your heart with romance novels.
And if your husband is tempted to lust, all day long, while out in the world, talk about how you can make his home a place of recuperation and peace.
But just as a heads up, this might involve sacrificing a few things.
BTW, if you’re interested in learning about t.v. and internet filters, I’d be glad to tell you what I know.