One for the Books

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“Is so and so still alive?” they usually ask while watching any non-animated t.v. show or movie. We watch a lot of The Andy Griffith Show and Leave it to Beaver, so it’s a usually a valid question. But when she asked, “Is Rob Petrie still alive?” I had to laugh (cause, really, we’ve covered all of this before).

“Umm, Rob Petrie is not a real person, remember?”

“What?!” like I had blown her mind.

“Rob Petrie is not a real person,” I repeated. “What’s the name of the show?”

The Dick Van Dyke Show.”

“Yeah, and Dick Van Dyke is a real person. He’s pretending to be Robert Petrie on t.v. And he also pretends to be Bert in Mary Poppins. That’s called acting, remember?”

“Oh yeah. And is Dick Van Dyke married to Laura Petrie?”

“Uh, no. Her name is Mary Tyler Moore…she is pretending to be Laura Petrie. But, no, Dick Van Dyke is not married to Mary Tyler Moore.”

“Oh my gosh! He isn’t?! Then how did they have Richie?!”

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Real Life with Really Smart Girls

“You know what’s wrong with these fairy tales?!” she spouted indignantly.

“What?” I looked up and smiled at the seven year old who was about to blow my mind.

Cinderella was strolling over the moonlight bridge with Prince Charming by her side; the music was swelling. For decades, all around the world, little girls’ fantasies have grown ever more distorted as they’ve hummed and flitted along. “He just likes her because she’s pretty,” she said. “She shouldn’t even be wearing that dress until she’s sure about why he likes her,” she went on. “She should have saved that dress for her wedding! He doesn’t really love her right now,” she sighed in utter frustration at a world that isn’t half as smart as she is.

I looked up; I cocked my head and I squinted my eyes. Uh, yeah!” I laughed, cause I thought we were enjoying the movie.

But to those of you who have worried that my faith and forgiveness might be somehow damaging my daughters…

Yeah, I think it’s safe to say that…we’re good.

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It Gives Face to Face Another Meaning

Tonight, while the kids were pulling on pj pants and talking with mouths full of toothpaste, I heard something pretty priceless…

“You should just wear your pjs forever and then you’ll never have to get ready for bed,” Lil Prince insisted.

We didn’t go to church yesterday, because I was sick, and I’m honestly not completely sure how long he has worn those pjs.

“Well, when you go to heaven you have to wear real clothes, not pjs, Dude,” Bay Bit barked back.

“Clothes?!” Lil Prince answered, appalled. “Your body doesn’t even go to heaven!”

“Just your FACE?!” Bay Bit worried.

“No, your spirit!”

“Is your spirit your face?!”

I think we have a few things to go over tomorrow morning.

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I Don’t Have a Plan

This afternoon, I sat on Baby Bear’s bed sewing ripped sheets and organizing a clean-up. Cuddle Bug was on a top bunk, spreading the sheet. She looked down at me and sighed deeply. “Mama, I have something to tell you, and I should have told you years ago.”

She’s six.

“Yes,” I laughed.

“Well, us kids like jumping off of the top bunk, and we’re never going to be able to stop.”

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A few nights ago, I sat with my laptop and a restless Baby Bear, waiting for him to fall asleep. He looked up at me and whined worriedly, “Ma…

He calls me Ma and I call him Bay.

“Ma, I don’t have a plan!”

“A what?”

“A plan! I don’t even have a plan!”

“Oh,” I giggled.

Cause he’s two.

“Jesus has a plan,” I assured him.

“Oh!” he said, as if to say, “Duh!” And he drifted off to sleep.

Happy Friday, all! May your weekend be funny…and don’t worry about the plan!

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Cause I Forget to Write the Funny Things Down

Earlier today, when I posted about my father-in-law, I promised to post something funny tonight. At the time, I could think of a dozen hilarious things. But then Papa Bear surprised me by adding Fraiser to our instant queue on Netflix, and now the only funny things running through my mind involve two ridiculously snobby straight men and their adorable father. I really love that show.

I still have funny kids, though. Several times a day, Lil Prince thinks of something huge that God could crush with His finger. And last night, at California Pastrami, he announced to the man behind the counter that, “Chefs don’t eat, they cook, right?!” The man smiled and said he was pretty much right about that. Then, Lil Prince concluded that everyone has a job. His was sleeping and doing school…and the wind’s was blowing.

He’s a cute one.

Cuddle Bug and Tiny Dancer still preform their smoosh-our-faces-together-and-smile-the-same-so-everyone-will-see-we’re-twins move when they’re around strangers. I need to get it on video. One day, just like that, they’ll stop doing that. Sniff, sniff. Although, one day they’ll also enjoy sleeping in as much as I do. I’m kinda looking forward to that. And don’t bite your fingers and sigh, “Oh, but then they’ll be teenagers!” I’m trusting God for Jesus loving teenagers that make my life a joy (cause that’s what I was, right, Mom and Dad?).

Speaking of sleeping…or rather of not sleeping and dreaming of someday doing so, Bay Bit lost her first tooth tonight at bedtime. Nope, not of natural causes. She was biting a blanket and Lil Prince pulled the other end. Ouch. Why was she biting a blanket? You’ll have to ask my mother-in-law, I have little to no understanding of certain aspects of her DNA (wink, wink).

Tomorrow, I’m gonna drive back over to storage and hunt high and low for my video camera that does not appear to have made it here. A Baby Bear video post is definitely in order.

But tonight, I’m going to sleep!

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